


Echoes of Silence

by caelestisxyz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It isn't so bad, M/M, Supernatural Elements, please don't let the tags scare you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-20 21:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12441990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelestisxyz/pseuds/caelestisxyz
Summary: "And, after every annual visit, Oikawa asks Iwaizumi if he can go with him. Iwaizumi's answer is always no, and when Iwaizumi is gone, Oikawa is left counting down the days to October 31st all over again."





	Echoes of Silence

Lightly dusting the tofu squares with potato starch, Oikawa hums quietly to himself. He's been preparing all evening and well into the night. Truthfully, he has been preparing for this day since the month of October rolled around. Halloween comes but once a year. To ensure that he doesn't forget anything, he begins his preparations early. Then again, that could just be Oikawa's excitement.

Oikawa can't recall the last time he's been this excited about anything. That's not true. He was equally, if not more excited last Halloween. It seems to be the only thing that makes him feel alive these days. Smiling to himself, he shakes off his negative thoughts because there's no point in dwelling on that now. Once the clock strikes midnight all of his worries will feel lightyears away.

While the tofu fries, Oikawa prepares the garnishes for the dish with the kind of ease that comes with repetition. To think that there was a time when he couldn't cook to save his life. Agedashi Tofu, as simple as the recipe is, was one thing that he couldn't quite grasp. But now, Oikawa makes the best Agedashi Tofu. At least that is what his fiancé tells him. It's the only opinion that matters to him, honestly.

Ten minutes to midnight, Oikawa has the table set, he's lighting the candles on the centerpiece, topping off the finishing touches. Once he's done the only thing left for him to do is anxiously bite his nails and glance at the clock three times a minute. Despite having to wait an entire year for this day to come, those minutes leading up to midnight are always the hardest for him.

To pass the time, Oikawa goes upstairs to his bedroom to check his appearance in the full-length mirror. Oikawa knows that no matter what he wears, his fiancé won't mind but tonight is special and he intends to treat it as such. For the occasion, Oikawa is wearing black, slim-fitted slacks and a cream dress shirt with two of the top buttons undone. He's debating on rather he should wear a tie or not when his wristwatch chimes at the stroke of midnight.

Just like that, Oikawa disregards any prior thoughts and hurriedly heads downstairs. Making it to the top of the staircase, his breath hitches at the sight of his handsome fiancé. Eyes welling with tears, he has to grasp the wooden rail to keep himself upright.

"Iwa-chan," he whispers softly, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth.

Wordlessly, Iwaizumi opens his arms, beckoning Oikawa forward with a gentle smile. Only moments ago, Oikawa couldn't wait for this exact moment but now that it's here he wants to drink it in. Slowly making his way down the stairs, careful not to miss a step, he admires Iwaizumi, noting how the man looks exactly as he had last year and the year before that.

Oikawa knows why that is, still, it amazes him. Reaching the bottom stair, he settles between Iwaizumi's outstretched arms, cupping his face. It's been a year since he's felt this skin under his fingertips. He barely touches Iwaizumi but that contact surges through them both, an electric shiver traveling down their spines. Iwaizumi pulls him into his arms, bringing a hand up to nestle his lover's head.

"I miss you so much," Oikawa says.

Iwaizumi kisses him on the temple. "I miss you, too, Tooru." He kisses him again, his lips lingering, "You cooked?"

"I made your favorite, of course."

"It smells amazing. Let's eat before it gets cold, okay?"

Nodding his head, Oikawa quickly dries his eyes. They walk to the table and take a seat across from one another. Oikawa's eyes are glued to Iwaizumi, watching his expression as he takes in the spread he has laid out. Iwaizumi's eyes are sparkling, his tongue sneaking out to lick his lips.

It's the reaction that Oikawa was expecting. "Eat up," he says picking up his chopsticks, "I made enough this time."

That seems to be all the man needs to hear before he digs in, literally. Oikawa is simply content with watching Iwaizumi stuff his face. Resting his chin on his hands, he smiles fondly. After a while, his fingers tingle and his feet tap against the linoleum restlessly. The roundtable is small yet the distance between them feels like the size of a planet.

Sensing Oikawa's anxiousness, Iwaizumi wipes his hand on his napkin. "Come here, Tooru," he says with a warm smile.

Oikawa waves him off. "I'm fine. Just eat. I want you to enjoy it while you can."

Sighing, Iwaizumi gets up from his seat. "Fine," he says, pulling Oikawa's chair back so that he can sit on the man's lap. "And don't whine about how heavy I am."

Turns out, Iwaizumi isn't as heavy as he used to be. Oikawa doesn't say anything, though. He sticks to the script. Pretending to be annoyed, he flails around miserably. "You're going to crush my thighs, Iwa-chan!"

"I figured you'd grow out of your noodle limbs," Iwaizumi chuckles, "Guess not."

Actually, Oikawa has a very lean, muscular figure. However, in elementary, he went through a  _noodle leg_  phase that Iwaizumi refuses to let him forget. Just like Oikawa likes to pretend as though Iwaizumi is far heavier than he actually is. Iwaizumi fits perfectly in his lap. So perfectly that Oikawa can no longer keep up the pretense. Succumbing to his emotions, he circles his arms around Iwaizumi's torso, resting his head against his back.

"Hajime," he says, voice wavering.

"I know," Iwaizumi says, "I know."

The half-eaten food is forgotten as another, carnal hunger takes over. For Oikawa, it isn't about a release; the same goes for Iwaizumi. This is just the only way for them to feel closer to one another, to fill that hollowness within. Iwaizumi unravels Oikawa down to his core, and vice versa, in a beautiful, unspeakable circle without ending. When they're too boneless to move a muscle, they fall asleep in the safety of each other's arms.

* * *

The first time Oikawa Tooru saw a ghost was at his grandmother's funeral when he was eight-years-old. Of course, his parents didn't believe him when he told them that his grandmother was sitting beside him, assuring him that everything would be okay. They chalked it up to a child's way of coping with the loss of a loved one. But Oikawa soon found out that that wasn't the case.

A week after his grandmother's funeral, he had another encounter with a ghost. This time it was a teenage girl who'd died in a car wreck on her way to school. Oikawa had been in the car with his father when the girl appeared next to him in the backseat. She wanted him to tell her parents that she was sorry. He had no idea what she was sorry for and he didn't ask.

He also didn't relay the message to her parents. Cut him some slack, he was only eight-years-old. For the most part, Oikawa simply ignored the strange encounters as best he could. Sometimes, the ghosts went away if he ignored them. Other times, he'd get the stubborn ones that couldn't accept their fate. Even still, the most they'd do is yell at him or make an object near him either levitate or fall on the floor.

Oikawa didn't start to see his gift as an actual gift until he met Iwaizumi Hajime. Iwaizumi's family had moved next door to him during his final year in elementary. Their mothers became fast friends so by default Hajime and Tooru were forced to hang out with one another. Initially, they didn't get along. Oikawa preferred to stay indoors reading or playing video games while Iwaizumi spent the better part of his day outdoors exploring. With their mother's help, the boys decided to take turns planning their playdates.

One day, they were outside catching bugs, because Iwaizumi was odd like that, when Oikawa was approached by a very persistent ghost. As much as he tried to ignore the ghost, it seemed determined to get his attention. Long story short, the ghost attacked Iwaizumi and scared the shit out of them both. Oikawa had to promise the ghost that he'd help it with whatever it wanted if it left Iwaizumi alone.

Turns out the ghost wanted Oikawa to send someone to his apartment; he'd been dead for days and no one seemed to notice. After the encounter, Oikawa feared that he'd lose yet another friend. No one wanted to be friends with the kid who often talked to himself; he was actually talking to ghosts. However, Iwaizumi proved, yet again, that he was weird as hell.

Iwaizumi thought that it was the coolest thing ever that Oikawa could see ghosts. For the first time ever, Oikawa felt as though he didn't have to hide. Eventually, Iwaizumi convinced him to stop ignoring the ghosts because maybe most of them were like the guy who just wanted someone to find his body so that he could be properly laid to rest.

So, with the help of Iwaizumi, Oikawa started to use his gift to give families closure and help souls find peace. They kept it up for years, in secret, up until their college years. Somewhere along the way, Iwaizumi and Oikawa's feelings for one another blossomed. Neither of them really confessed. They'd been inseparable for so long they didn't notice when the line between friends and lovers was blurred. When Iwaizumi proposed to Oikawa their senior year of university, it didn't come as a surprise to anyone, not even their parents.

They were preparing for graduation, as well as their wedding when the unthinkable happened. After a long shift at the hospital, Iwaizumi was crossing the crosswalk heading to their apartment when a drunk driver hit him. He died before the ambulance arrived. After a long shower, Oikawa walked out of the bathroom to see Iwaizumi standing in their bedroom. He'd tried to hug the man but his hands went right through him. And, that was how he found out about his lover's tragic death.

In his grief, Oikawa went back to ignoring the spirits that visited him. It got so bad that they stopped showing up altogether. Without Iwaizumi, Oikawa saw no purpose in anything. Then, Halloween rolled around; his first Halloween without Iwaizumi in thirteen years. Surprisingly, this was the only day out of the year that Oikawa wasn't bothered by ghosts.

The veil between the planes no longer exists on Hallow's Eve so the ghosts don't require his help. This also means that, for twenty-four hours, Oikawa is allowed to physically be with Iwaizumi again. The first time they discovered this, they spent a majority of the day in bed, crying over the future that was snatched away from them. The year after that, they actually talked and enjoyed their time together as much as they could. This small measure of peace isn't much but it's better than nothing. Oikawa cherishes every second that he gets to spend with Iwaizumi.

Still, it isn't enough. So far, it has been four years since Iwaizumi's death. And, after every annual visit, Oikawa asks Iwaizumi if he can go with him. Iwaizumi's answer is always no, and when Iwaizumi is gone, Oikawa is left counting down the days to October 31st all over again.

* * *

While Oikawa prefers to lay around in bed all day with Iwaizumi, after a shower, they venture off to the first floor of the house. This is the home that they picked out together; they'd planned to move in after the wedding. Since Oikawa couldn't bear the sight of anyone else living here, he moved in by himself. His family thinks that his coping mechanisms are unhealthy and that he should seek professional help. Not only is he still wearing his engagement ring but he uses the cologne Iwaizumi used to wear on his pillows so that they'll smell like the man. He can't hold a conversation about Iwaizumi without tearing up or reacting violently.

It's been four years, he should be over it by now, right? Of course not. The human body can't function without its heart. Oikawa can't live while a major part of him no longer exists. Why can't anyone see that? Most of all, why can't Iwaizumi see that?

"Are you sure you want to do this, Tooru?" Iwaizumi asks, eyeing the objects laid out on the coffee table.

Picking up one of the Nerf guns, Oikawa smirks. "Just like old times," he says.

"The last time we played with these I hit you in the eye with a dart and you cried for hours."

"We were kids!"

"Actually, that was our freshmen year in university!"

In retaliation, Oikawa aims the plastic gun at Iwaizumi, firing a dart at the man's chest. As always, Iwaizumi's reflexes are quick. He blocks the dart with one hand and picks up a Nerf gun with the other. Then, the war begins. Yesterday, Oikawa was sure to move all the furniture out of the way so that they'd have more room to move. Every year he tries to plan one activity that they've done in the past. The goal is to not sit around all day sulking.

They run around the first floor of the house, shooting darts at one another, exchanging insults without any real heat in their words, their minds absent of how their time together is trickling down. Iwaizumi intentionally keeps Oikawa occupied enough to keep the man from anxiously checking the time like he normally does. Immediately after Iwaizumi declares himself the victor of the Nerf war, he straddles Oikawa and kisses his complaints away; Oikawa has always been a sore loser.

Head fuzzy from the kisses, Oikawa snuggles close to Iwaizumi on the couch as they debate on a movie to watch. Every year there are movies that are released that Oikawa thinks Iwaizumi would like so he keeps them on his television for them to watch together. All of the date ideas that crosses his mind are tucked away for this one day. Trying to stuff so much into twenty-four hours can be a task but simply being with Iwaizumi has always trumped all else.

"I'm sorry. I'd thought that movie would be good," Oikawa says, the credits for the film Passengers are rolling, both of their faces mirroring their disappointment with the overall production. "We can watch the Kingsman sequel next."

Iwaizumi kisses Oikawa on the chin, once, twice, and with more purpose the third time. "No more movies," he whispers lowering the kisses to his lover's neck.

Time is winding down. Oikawa can tell it by the urgency in Iwaizumi's movements. To Oikawa, it doesn't seem like they've done much of anything today. Yeah, they had morning sex, a Nerf battle, watched three movies, and pigged out on junk food in between those movies _,_ still, it isn't enough. And, he hates to seem like he's being selfish or that he isn't satisfied with the way things are. He understands that not everyone gets to have this time with their loved ones.

Oikawa is lucky enough to be one of the few who get to touch spirits during this day. But the fact remains...

Iwaizumi is trailing kisses down his stomach now in hopes of distracting him. Yet, that small distance induces his panic. He needs Iwaizumi to be closer. Before they know it, it'll be midnight and Iwaizumi will have to leave him once again. Another year will go by at a snail's pace while Oikawa waits for his return. The days without Iwaizumi are always the worst, too. Today is the most he's ever eaten in a day. Today is the most he's ever smiled, laughed, or felt remotely alive. Sometime's he thinks that maybe he died that night along with Iwaizumi because since then he hasn't felt like himself.

"Tooru," Iwaizumi calls him, cupping his face to wipe his tears away with his thumbs, "we still have time."

Maybe that's true but what's an hour or so compared to an eternity? "Take me with you," Oikawa pleads.

"No. You have to stay here."

Oikawa shakes his head stubbornly. "I can't do this anymore. I've tried, Hajime. I've tried." He really has. The fact that he's made it this long surprises him. But, even the strong can only bear so much. "Please, take me with you."

Iwaizumi chastely kisses Oikawa on the forehead, his hands coming up to cup his face delicately. "You can't give up on your life here for me, Tooru. I won't let you."

Angrily, Oikawa shoves Iwaizumi away. "What life?! You call this living?" 364 days out of the year, he's mourning Iwaizumi. That isn't a way to live. "Without you, I feel dead already, Hajime," he confesses quietly.

Hearing that breaks Iwaizumi's heart, it's clear on his face. "I'm so sorry, Tooru..."

"Take me with you," Oikawa asks again, "We could be together again. Don't you want that."

"More than anything."

"Then, what are you waiting for?"

"Do you understand the gravity of the situation."

Of course, he understands the gravity of the situation. He's only had four years to think it through. Truthfully, Oikawa thought he'd be able to move on to at least function without the thought of Iwaizumi bringing him to tears yet it never happened. 

The sudden chime of his wristwatch has Oikawa's heart racing. Tears brim his eyes. He can't believe they were so caught up in their argument that they allowed time to past them by. Panicking, Oikawa skittishly glances around the den for a solution to his problem. For anything that can prolong his stay with Iwaizumi. Out of all of the spells he's tried and the money he's spent on back alley sorcerers, he knows that there is no way to keep the veil open for a longer period. There is only one, sure way for him to spend more time with Iwaizumi.

"Fine," Oikawa says, standing to his feet, "If you won't take me with you, I'll find my own way."

Iwaizumi quickly jumps to his feet. "Tooru," he warns.

Ignoring him, Oikawa hurriedly steps into the kitchen heading toward where the knives are kept. In his haste, he forgets about Iwaizumi's supernatural abilities. The man appears in front of him just as he's reaching for the knife.

Oikawa looks at his watch, noting that only eight minutes remain. "Get out of my way, Hajime!" Iwaizumi's crosses his arms over his chest stubbornly. Angry tears well in Oikawa's eyes. "It doesn't matter. Your time is almost up, anyway. Once you're gone, I'll do it!"

"If you do that, you won't be with me," Iwaizumi says, hands dropping to his sides, "You'll end up someplace different."

Shoulders slumping in defeat, Oikawa drops his head, resting it on Iwaizumi's shoulder. "Why did this have to happen to us?" he chokes on a sob, "We helped so many people. So, why did this have to happen?"

Iwaizumi cradles Oikawa in his arms, his chin resting on the top of his soft, brown hair. "Life isn't fair, Tooru. You know that. Think of some of the cases we've worked on. Most of them were children."

"Then, take me with you," Oikawa asks one last time with only a minute remaining, "Free me from this suffering, Hajime. Please."

When Iwaizumi doesn't respond, Oikawa clenches his eyes shut and waits for the inevitable. Once Iwaizumi leaves, he'll be left to pick up the pieces of his heart like he does every year. It'll take him months to get over Hajime's visit. Another month to learn how to not feel again. By the time that happens, it'll be October 31st again; old wounds will reopen. The clock sounds off, twelve consecutive chimes announce the day's end.

Oikawa squeezes his arms around Iwaizumi one last time, hoping that the gesture will convey the emotions that he can't put into words right now. After the clock's final stroke, his heart drops. But, then the strangest thing happens. 

"Tooru," Iwaizumi gently calls.

Slowly, Oikawa lifts his head. Iwaizumi is still there holding him, except, they're no longer in his dark kitchen. A bright meadow surrounds them. At the sight of it, every negative feeling that Oikawa previously felt sheds away like dead skin. His body feels light without any earthly burdens weighing him down. But the most notable difference is that Oikawa can still touch Iwaizumi. They're finally together again and this time, it'll be for an eternity.

Oikawa smiles; it's his first genuine smile in years. "Thank you, Hajime," he says. 

**_The End._ **


End file.
